The Fight for My Best Friend

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The Fight for My Best Friend
Above is the link for Hershey’s go fund me. I’ve updated it since last week as of today. My best friend went to heaven on the 9th.

The update :
On Thursday, April 9 2015 Hershey went to heaven. As we were on our way to pick my baby up, the surgeon called saying she was having some trouble 30 minutes prior to us being on the way. Once there, she was wheeled on a gurney with IV fluids running and she had trouble breathing. Emotions flooded and I started to cry. She was very much in pain and struggling. They gave us an option to try to give her a blood transfusion over night and give her oxygen. We didn’t know how we were going to pay for it as the bill preview was about $2000 but we decided we were going to fight one more day. When we told the assistants our decision, they were starting her oxygen and working with her in the back. Fight till the end or fight till tomorrow was how we thought at the moment. I wanted Hershey to know her family will fight for her until the end. An hour passed and the vets told us that she was crashing and not responding to anything. At that time I knew something worse was going to happen. They said they were going to keep her alive as long as possible to get anyone who wanted to see her there ASAP. The final decision was to let her “sleep” and wake up in heaven. We were there kissing and hugging her as she left us for her “real home” in heaven. It’s been hard for the past 2 weeks and the house has been empty and so has the back seat of my truck. That day, I felt like I failed my best friend. Our family was seeing shadows of her, hearing her bark at 3am and I even thought she was breathing next to me one morning as she has a very distinct breathing pattern when sleeping. It’s taken us a little to accept that Hershey is no longer in pain and is better now and eating whatever she wants.

Yesterday, I picked up her urn and paw print impression. The clay had some of her hair in it. I almost broke down. As soon as I got home, I baked her impression and put up her urn on the shelf we purchased Saturday night. When I was buying that, I never thought I would have ever had to. However, although I know she is actually in heaven, at least her ashes are home with us.

This morning: Her surgeon woke me up to tell me the results came back and it definitely was Hemangiosarcoma. The mass was so big it’s probably been there for a while. The biopsy of her liver showed hepatitis as well. Animal instinct is to hide illness as a survival tactic. My baby survived through so much and we didn’t even know until the end. She fought for her life to be with us as did we. We fought a good fight. Hershey lived a long, healthy and loving life. I will never get over it but I will heal eventually. If you have any pets, make sure they have a good life with you. They are your family and best friends. Hershey will be in my heart until even after I die. We grew up together and we still will. We’re just in 2 different places until we reunite and my life on earth or up will finally be complete.

I will keep this campaign up as I still am not sure how I am going to pay for the remaining bills. The amount I owe may seem small and petty to others but I am in a different stance in this part of my life. If anyone wants to contribute still to Hershey’s bill fund, it is extremely appreciated.

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Hershey the Beagle/My Other Half is Sick. Gofundme.com/helpsavehershey

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Hello everyone! I probably won’t be posting up anything related to my usual beauty categories due to a certain struggle going on…

My dog Hershey has been with my family since I was 11 years old. She was 8 months when we got her. I’m 24 now so we’ve had her for quite some time. At the moment she is in a hospital. She’s post-op spleenectomy as of yesterday due to an extremely large mass. When they said it might be Hemangiosarcoma (a very aggressive and rapid cancer), I broke down hard. Hershey hasn’t been herself for about 2 weeks. She loves food and hasn’t even cared for treats waved in her face. This week has been the hardest for my family.

Hershey before :

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Hershey now:

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I’ve never thought I would have to but I have started a Gofundme campaign for her. I didn’t realize how vet bills were so different from humans. Everything is upfront unlike our bill later stuff. We had to drop $5,000 Monday night (4/6/2015). The whole story from beginning to end is on there. I’ll be updating throughout this tough journey as well.

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Help Save Hershey

I wrote the description at 2am this morning and got no sleep. It killed me yesterday when I put the key to my front door and didn’t see her through the glass. It’s honestly hard to be without her…

For those who don’t feel like clicking the link but don’t mind a long, detailed read, I’ll put it below.

COPY & PASTED FROM HESHEY’S GOFUNDME:

Pictured is Hershey, my tri-colored beagle. When I was 11, my family found her on a site called Pet Finder. She was located at the VBSPCA. She was 8 months old at the time. We were told that another family wanted her but if anything changed, they’d notify us. We didn’t hear back so my parents called but no one picked up the phone. My dad decided we were just going to go see what was up because I really wanted her. We then found out that the other family didn’t even bother with her so she was ours. That was the day I knew she was meant for my family. I’m 24 now so she’s been a family member for bout 13 years.

A little about Hershey:
-She loves food. I mean LOVES it! We’ve had so many mishaps of her and food, I can’t even count! She’s gotten herself stuck in the lid of trashcan before so every day, we MUST put something heavy over the trash lid so she can’t dumpster dive. You can’t eat specifically a Mcchicken around her or she’ll try to ninja her way in.
-Her favorite outing is anywhere aslong as she can stick her head out for a smell buffet, she’s a happy girl.
-Hershey absolutely HATES fighting. She LOVES peace. If she ever hears raised voices or any form of anger, she will run away. She’ll find the nearest open door and hide until it’s quiet again.

What’s happening as of recent :
For a few days, we’ve notices she’s been lethargic. She’s been lazier than usual and just not herself. Each day got worse. She didn’t care for food. That’s when it really hit that something was wrong… She even refused treats (beggin strips are her fav) and that never happens. She just slept a lot and it would take forever to try to coerce her to get up and come outside to use the bathroom. My baby just seemed so sad…

This week:
My sibling and I took her to the vet this Monday (4/6/2015). They took an X-ray of her abdomen and got some labs. They saw a mass in her spleen, her white blood cell count was very high and she was very anemic. The vet cautioned us and wrote a referral for an emergency hospital to get her checked out further. Our vet bill was $408. My bro covered the 300 and I had to charge $108 on my credit card due to being very broke and working only 3 days a week. My bro had to go to work and I ended up taking Hershey to the ER myself.

At the ER:
After being put in a room, she was taken to recheck her glucose because they said it was low in the labs. I waited a very long time for the girl to tell me it was fine and they were gonna keep her in the treatment area till the Dr saw her. I was about to have an anxiety attack while waiting. Then the girl came back in and asked if I wanted them to start the ultra sound and chest x-ray or wait for the Dr. The bill already showed $115 for the visit and $400 something for the ultrasound. I said I wanted to wait. I didn’t know how much it would all cost so I frantically called my bro seeing if he can somehow get out of work to help with decisions because of how broke I am and they don’t “bill later” like human hospitals. The vet finally came to tell me she thinks it might be Hemangiosarcoma which is a rapid and deadly cancer with a prognosis of 3-6 months post op. I broke down infront of the vet and couldn’t help it. My brother called back and said tell them to do what they gotta do and he’ll try to get off work. Crying, I waited and waited then he finally said he was allowed to leave and come to the hospital. Him, my mom and my bf finally came and they told us that the next step would be taking out her spleen for the mass cytology as well as a liver biopsy. We were all crying at the thought of everything including the cost. I have a care credit card that was already almost maxed due to emergency dental work and as much as I didn’t think of my payment aftermath, I asked if they could try to get an increase for me. I got embarrassed at the counter when I got asked how much my income was as of right now. Surprisingly I got a small increase. They told us the base price of her surgery would be $5000. We had to put a $4500 deposit down because she was staying over night. I could only put $3 something down and maxed my card and my brother paid the remaining $1400. It took me forever to sign the papers because I was crying so much. I didn’t know how much my monthly payment would be as I’m already struggling paycheck to paycheck. The lady came to get her and Hershey acted like she didn’t want to go but we got her to get up finally. I was there from 4pm-9pm.

This morning:
We went to see her before her surgery (about noon, surgery was supposed to be 1 or 2pm). She seemed so tired and didn’t move much. She laid on her side on the floor and shook on inhale. I tried not to cry. As I sat next to her, it broke my heart that I wanted to pull her close but couldn’t because Hershey has IV ports bandaged to her front left leg. We called the assistant to get her so we didn’t hold them up for surgery prep. I got a call from the surgeon around 5pm (4/7/2015) saying her surgery went well but the mass was very large with nodules and didn’t look like the normal Hemangiosarcoma tumors they normally see so we have to wait for the results. Apparently, her liver was also diseased looking so we’d be waiting for the results for that too. She said she’d call me in the morning for an update. It’s 2:24 am as I’m writing this dreading that call in a few hours. I have no idea what will happen from here on out, how much more money will need to be spent, or how I’m going to pay my carecredit back. We’re doing all we can because Hershey is our family. She’s not just something to play with or for entertainment. She’s there when we come home and she’s there to comfort and listen. She is the best napping and eating buddy there is in our lives. Anything at all will help. I mean, ANYTHING. I just really hope it’s not terminal. I’ve always said I’d go before she does. I wish she could talk and told me something was wrong and if she’s ever in pain. I love Hershey that much and I’ll do what I can to help her. Even if it’s just kind words of comfort, it’s appreciated.

Yup, that’s what’s going on.
If any of you are animal /dog lovers, you’ll know how my family feels and how hard this is.

Anyway, sorry to sadden your reader feed but thought I’d share<3

Orchard Oracle

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Hello everyone! I’ve been MIA again when it was nearing my birthday and is also my nephew’s (March 6). I’ll have to make a post of everything I got relating to my blog! I hope everyone’s been good! I’ve been saying I wasn’t gonna go away and I always do  so before I “come back” I figured I’d post a recent nail design I did (:

Regal Dreams

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Hello bloggesphere! It’s been super cold, snowy and icy here in VA so I’ve been doing nothing but nails and then taking it all off (Damn, I’m sorry cuticles /:).

I’ve used nail pearls for this and yes, it sucked! I’m sure they won’t last long but I’ll enjoy the hour or two I have until they break off lol

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(Left to right)

Base –  Sinful Shine in “Prosecco”

Seafoam- Sinful Colors in ” Nice Stems”

Yellow-Sinful Colors in ” Solar Flux”

Base and Top Coat– Sally Hansen “Double Duty”

Nail Pearls- Gold

Modernist Tentacalis

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I got tired of normal tentacle designs so I took matters into my own hands. If you guys didn’t know about my love for cephalopods, now you know!

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Color: Sinful Colors in “Georgio”

Sea of Affection <3

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It’s that time of the year again where we rush last minute to show our love for one another/vomit at the site of people swallowing each other’s faces! Here is my spin on V-Day. I wanted to do something different than the usual pinks and reds… And yes, that is a Valentine’s snack cake and yes, I ate it after this o_o

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Base: Sinful Colors in “Nice Stems”

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Striping /Accent: Sinful Shine in “Wisp”

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Glitz Overlay: Sinful Colors in “Love Sprinkles”

I hope everyone is enjoying the beginning of their year so far! Enjoy single awareness month/V-Day everyone!

<3Jdm

Think of Me and Forget Me Not

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Running on a belt, going the distance but I’m still here.

Familiarity, close to home, the kind of things I want to keep near.

 Like every last drop of honey in a jar,  I’m stuck.

Come pull me out, come and get me. No? I must be love struck.

The last piece of the puzzle, so close, right there.

I know you’ll have no answers, no matter how deep I stare.

When I feel the urge to hate, it’s because I love a lot.

I’m running, huffing, out of breath with each night that passed and we fought.

I always think it’s just so damn simply put.

Each second passing, I’m hoping I won’t be brushed off like soot.

I delve deep into being an unnecessary, necessary article, pushed to the side.

We never really know if there are rules to follow for this, but it doesn’t matter… we never tend to abide.

Defiant, defiantly straight,

Shall I set down my foolishness and forget that it was ever fate?

My tongue is so numb, cotton mouth with every verbalized notion.

What’s killing us is the silent, natural erosion.

Emitting light at the end of the tunnel, so brightly set,

I’m hoping each struggling day together that we won’t regret the day we met.

It’s all like the nicotine I press between my pout, rising against my flesh,

We never end up realizing it’s all there, just hiding like when you’re looking through mesh.

A few small words can cause such a clatter.

Am I invisibly obnoxious? Do you see that I’m telling you what’s the matter?

A shot to the chest, a blow to the head is arising with defiance.

Were we wrong to think we would even make such an alliance?

Tell this girl, am I just a dumbfounded waste of time?

It’s too early in the morning, I can’t think, I can’t rhyme.

Do you walk away? So you pretend like it was never there?

It honestly shouldn’t  have taken all of these horrible nights to show me that you still care.

I just wanted to know if you still think of me the way you used to.

I can’t forget the first time you hooked me, telling me what you’d never do.

I remember the first time you kissed me, telling me you’ve been wanting to do it for quite some time.

I’ve always felt the safest with you, never knowing that my emotions were so naive, so reckless, how can my heart commit such a crime?

I feel like I’m the ringing in your ears, always there but always to be pretended like I wasn’t.

I’ve ran in circles, using up credit of new ideas to fix this. I really thought I found the way to make us work. To my dismay, it just terribly doesn’t.

Well, we let everything happen. I’d like to say it all just slipped through stiff fingers.

I’ve always been able to wait, no matter how many lingers.

These dense, matte lashes that I wear so beautifully, they’re like a natural train wreck on the canvas.

The tears are portals to an unspoken language. I’m hurting, I’m oh so envious.

This heart hurts. Will anyone come save me?

They say rely on yourself, but all of my decisions are like poison, so deadly.

We’re just a beautiful tragedy, playing in slow motion on the screen.

I’m longing for the days we can smile and feel ever so serene.

You are everything I cry about. You are everything I’ve always wanted and more.

I don’t know what it is about you. Even if the bolded words fall flat and crumble, in an instance, your face is the one I still adore.

It’s been a while now… I hope you still see me.

I’m standing right infront of you, do you have anything to say? Is there anything you want me to see? 

You’ve always told me to not let anyone, including you make me quit.

I’m still standing here, looking back at you from an undeniably frightening tar pit.
 
  I jump to these conclusions of heart pulling, a deafening slice.

It’s still just us, so talk to me. Tell me you want to throw this away… throw me away. Are a few small words really worth the price? 

You ask me if I think we’re going to last. You abruptly answer you don’t think so.

I always have the same answer: I honestly don’t know.

Have you given up? Have you thrown me away?

Maybe one day I’ll find the answers. Maybe I’ll realize one day…that I loved the wrong way. That’s the reason why you didn’t stay.